Neverland

Since it was my birthday the other day, I decided to gift you a snippet of a poem I wrote about a month ago.

For the past few years I get pre-birthday melancholy during the month of my birthday, October (which is funny considering it’s also my favourite month and I love Halloween, but hey! I’m a walking contradiction).

And so, here it is -partly:

“Life’s already sad and boring; you’re not even thirty-one

Now you have to be so careful, and to bring food to the table

Pay those bills, have a career, and no option to give up

Always pretending you know what you’re doing, heart shut

Rude awakening leaves you wishing you were Peter Pan

Always young, forever young, eternal youth in Neverland”

Random Thoughts 21

The older I get, the more I realise how important love is.
To receive it, to give it, to transmit it.

Six Months

Six months of repression
Suppression,  no measure of prevention

Illness, stillness, subversion
No chance of recuperation

Physical oppression
No escaping deterioration

Inertia, exertion
No hope for restoration

Life Game

In the academic year of 2011-12 (3rd year of my bachelors in Music) I wrote a song inspired by the work I had done for my Independent Project.
That project entailed me interviewing people about pain and their memories of pain, whilst filming them, and then creating an avant garde piece of music and film.

Which I did, and it was great.

In the meantime though, this project inspired me to write another song: ‘Life Game.’

I don’t often go back and re-read or refer to my lyrics, but the following lyrics are depressingly relevant to this moment of my life:

“Pain is loss, pain is rejection

Pain is when you can’t find affection

Pain is racism, pain is bullying

Pain is when your heart is bleeding

Pain is physical, pain is mental

Pain is you on a misery spiral

Pain is shame, pain is blame

Pain is you not being the same?”

Heartbreak

How do you continue living after heartbreak?

What are the steps to move on?

Many people have asked me the above questions over the years.

Most of the time I told them to try and distract themselves and that with time they’d be able to move on.

But some even though they tried to follow my advice couldn’t move on after years.

So now, when people ask me… I tell them to just try to take care of themselves.
I tell them to see a therapist. I tell them to try and focus on surviving each day.

Because that’s the most honest and realistic advice I could give.

Sources of inspiration

I’ve been thinking lately of the things that inspire me.
Even though I can create -and have created- on demand, there are things that inspire my creativity to be expressed through different mediums.

When it comes to writing poems and lyrics, I usually get inspired by sadness, trauma, negative feelings and situations (either mine of other persons’).

When it comes to writing stories I get inspired by any experience (mine or someone else’s): negative, positive, funny, grim, mysterious…

When it comes to photography I get inspired by my surroundings or concepts I envision.

When it comes to drawing I usually just let my subconscious guide me.

When it comes to music I get inspired by my lyrics, as I write lyrics first and create music afterwards.

When it comes to makeup I get inspired by other people’s work, nature or specific themes, and of course, anything spooky and gothic.

But isn’t that interesting? We use different mediums, a different language if you like, to express different thoughts and sources of inspiration.

My email address got pwned, what to do?

First of all, are you sure your account has been breached or compromised in any way?

To make sure, check your email address here: https://haveibeenpwned.com/

Now, in the unfortunate event that your email is on the list, well, you’re not alone.

I read an article recently on one of the latest known data breaches. You can click on it for techy details and how to protect yourselves using password managers and all that fancy stuff.

However, if you don’t trust password managers (which is crazy, but your right to) there are a few other things you can do.

I have to clarify I’m not particularly knowledgeable on such matters (security breaches, hacking or whatever), but I possess a very basic understanding.

So here follows a small list of steps you can take to protect yourself online:

1. Never use your real name on social media, pornsites and generally anything non work or online shopping or serious stuff related
2. Use a different email address to sign up on social media, a different one for pornsites, a different one for online shopping (and if possible a different one for work related stuff, medical and financial stuff etc.)
3. Never use your real name on email addresses you use for social media, fora, pornsites etc.
4. Never use the same password on different email accounts or any accounts in general
5. Try to always create strong passwords (including capital letters, numbers and symbols -avoid using your name, date of birth etc.)
6. Never click on emails from untrusted sources
7. Never click on links from untrusted sources

I understand most of us are lazy af when it comes to those things, so if you have two email addresses, one using your real name, which you use for serious stuff and a fake one for everything else, you should be fine as long as you’re careful.

Another option is to get an extension like Blur and use masked emails to sign up for non serious stuff. Then you’ll still get emails on your main inbox, but they’ll be coming through Blur, and none of your real details will be used.

I hope this helps!

Random Thoughts 20

Peace will come out of solidarity and acceptance, not exclusion and seclusion.

Slaying Demons

I can’t help but wonder, are most demons scarier in our minds than when we bring them to light?

Will they always burn in the light? Are our inner demons mere imaginary vampires?

The mask of Internet Anonymity

I don’t get people who say “it doesn’t matter what you say on the Internet.”

They use this as an excuse to be horrible, cyberbully and say things they’d never say in real life. They claim “It’s not serious,” “It’s a joke,” “It’s not real,” etc.

And they fail to realise that because of anonymity what they say matters more, as it shows their true colours.

If you want to see someone’s true face give them a mask, isn’t it?
And the Internet serves as the biggest and most opaque mask that one could ever wear.